Three years ago I experienced a mental game-changer. I participated in a 2-day intensive with choreographer, Galen Hooks. As excited as I was, I was also very intimidated. There were only 15 dancers in the program, so there was no hiding. I was about to be exposed to not only one of my favorite choreographers, but also to a room full of talented dancers, many of whom were working professionals, and all of whom were a thousand times more artistic than me.
Despite being nervous, I showed up for Day 1 and I was thankful that I did. That is, until Galen told us what was in store for Day 2. We would have to do a solo freestyle. To a song we had never heard. In front of the entire group. With Galen filming us! Everything I was most afraid of when it came to dance was rolled into one gigantic fear-ball.
Why was I afraid? I was worried about what people would think of me. They would see I wasn’t talented. That I didn’t have enough technique. That I wasn’t original. That I hadn’t trained in years. That I was old. That I was out of shape. That I had no business dancing. I assumed the worst because I thought these things about myself (sorry, former self!).
But, I pulled through the fear and showed up again for Day 2. When it was my turn to solo, Galen asked: “What do you want to say to us that you haven’t said yet?” I blurted out “I want to dance without caring what anyone thinks about me.” I surprised myself with this response. I didn’t realize that this insecurity had been weighing so heavily on me, and that I was ready to throw it off.
So I danced. And I cried. I dance-cried. I made it through alive. Somehow I was able to do the thing I was most afraid of, while forgetting about everyone else in the room. It felt amazing.
But what stood out the most was after I danced, someone asked “Why are you so worried about what people think? Why do you think that we won’t love what you do? Because we do.” This STRUCK ME. It made me question what I had been telling myself. I had been re-playing a story in my mind that might not be true.
That day I had a mental shift. I realized that I choose what I believe about myself, and I can choose to believe that I am good. From that moment on, I have worked on accepting that I am good enough. As a dancer. As a mother. As a business-owner. As a teacher. Why? Because when we believe we are not good or good enough, we hold back. We don’t share our gifts. We don’t show up to the dance class. We don’t stand in the front. We hide. We fear if we let it all hang out, the people will see us and GOD FORBID THEY SEE US! It can consume our minds and stop us from being happy and peaceful. When we tell ourselves we aren’t good, we are telling a story.
Here is the real story: You are good. If you come to Powerhouse, I can guarantee you I have watched you dance and I have seen at least 1 thing that I love about your dancing (if you ever want to know, just ask me). When I look around the studio, I see your fellow dancers admiring you and watching you. They also believe you are good, so why shouldn’t you?
I challenge you to be aware of your thoughts around this issue and to take action:
The next time you watch a video of yourself from class or a performance, find 3 things you love about how you danced and write them down
When someone compliments you on your dancing, do not downplay it. Accept the compliment with a smile and a “Thank you!”
When you post your next dance video on Instagram, do not write anything negative in your caption. Leave out “a little rusty, but..” or “it’s not perfect, but..”
I try to read this quote by Deepak Chopra every day as a reminder: “You will be free…when you finally believe that you are good enough.”
Just remember, you are good. In fact, you are perfect.
Written by Jenny De Tore, Founder of Powerhouse Dance